How do you make a marriage work after your spouse had had an affair?

It will only work if you want to make it work. To be honest, my boyfriend of 16 months cheated on me about seven months ago, i just found out recently when he told me. Now it was so hard for me to get over it for the first month, but eventually you will learn that you have to forgive him and let it go...or be a person who will forget it and always bring it up. It is a marriage, so for ur reasoning to try to work it out, is even more so... I think if you really want to make it work and really love him, try to make him understand that he can never do this again, that him doing it has made you lose trust in him and he needs to work very hard at regaining your trust, also tell him you need reassurance once in a while that you are the only one for him. Also know if u do forgive him, forgiveness is an attribute for the strong, not the weak. So remember, forgive but don't forget, just don't bring it up all the tiem and think about it all the time if u do forgive him and choose to make it work.How do you make a marriage work after your spouse had had an affair?
If you think he is willing to change and If you manage to trust him again then do something to get your marriage work. And, Open communication is very important.How do you make a marriage work after your spouse had had an affair?
It takes lots of hard work and the ability to fully forgive 100%. If you choose to stay in the marriage then you have to forgive, you cannot bring it up every time their is a fight or something.





I don't know if you are a Christian or not but my Husband and I went through the Alpha Marriage course. It is done through Church but you don't have to be a member or anything to do it. It really helps a marriage.


http://themarriagecourse.org/marriage/ru鈥?/a>





Good Luck!
I have been with my man 6 years, after the first year he had a affair. I forgave him, which does not mean I forgot it. I still have trust issues, but we work on it day by day. If you love someone enough you will at least try. I won't lie about it at times I feel like giving up. I have to watch myself, because sometimes I accuse him of things with no basis for it. The old pain of what happened is sometimes overwhelming. If you want to really make it you just keep on working .
You don't. He cheated on you, the relationship is over.
its very very hard but if your 100% sure he is sorry and he wont do it again, it is possible.


Last year I CHEATED on my girlfriend. I felt so bad, i actually told her. she was so upset, she cried she told me asta de lo que me iva a morir. She said she could forgive me. But it was (is) hard for her.


At first, she would call me and cry and tell me that she didnt want to go out with me cuz it hurted so much. But every night i reminded her that i was truly sorry and that I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HER AGAIN.


to make it clear to her, i proposed and we got married on march 10th. i even bought her a 5000$ dollar DIAMOND in a 2000 dollar ring with smaller diamonds in it to show her that i dont really care about the money or anything, i just want to die old next to her. while doing preparations, she would tell me that she made a big mistake and she didnt want to marry me, but then she would tell me that she was sorry for saying that but ';its just that sometimes i remember and it still hurts like the first time i heard it'; and she said '; i know ur sorry and everything and i know u love me, but its very HARD TO TRUST U AGAIN. i lLOVE YOU BUT IT STILL HURTS and sometimes i feel anger against you cuz u dont feel this and i do';


This makes me feel so bad, but i truly am sorry. and now we have almost 2 weeks MARRIED and every day i can see that she is trusting me back little by little and i know it will take months maybe years to heal that heart but it'll be done.


if you have any recomendations for me and my wife email me at trece_calle@yahoo.com
forgiveness, true forgiveness. But if you are asking this question maybe you're not over yet. If u're not willing to start anew it's really hard!
WELL, get to a marriage counselor or it will happen again.
In your heart you really can't make it work,because you are not going to totally for give and you will never forget it, it will be a daily thing of you thinking of it.
Easy take the house and the car and the (whatever) and tell him your an a** and leave. Once a cheater always a cheater, sorry. I could never forgive him for that. I just couldn't get over that I would never trust him again.
It depends on how your spouse is, is he sorry? Genuinely sorry? If he is and you're positive he won't do it again, try to find out what made him cheat and try to fix that area. If that doesn't work, go see a counselor. If you're not sure, find out, because if you suspect he might do it again, it's not worth putting your heart on the line.
usually you get a Divorce,and find a new Spouse.Because if you Decide to stay with this person..you will never look at them the same,and it will be very hard to trust them.Ide say Move on,and seek for someone trustworthy.
You don't. Tell the spouse they kissed this marriage goodbye.
I don't feel you can. It's why I divorced my exhole after 24 years---I had temptations %26amp; resisted them. He ACTED on the first one.


Trust was irrevocably broken.








And---he is now married to that hoe-bag.
You both need to go see a counselor and he needs to especially, he needs to be taking action to show that he is trying to change/fix whatever it is about him that caused him to do this.
if your willing to forgive see a councellor
i'd put his butt on a lease, keep an eye on him always, forgive but not forget. also if that other person wants the marriage to work and realize thier mistake the marriage will stand no matter what.
Get the book 'Surviving an Affair', or 'After the Affair' some good advice for both parties, but both need to be willing. Find out why it happened, there may be issues. Beware the cheating party will blame you and make execuses to justify their actions. Best of luck, I tried to save mine but the cheater wouldn't work on it.
dump that cheating bastard
good luck dealling with that go to therapy
you dont
When you find out let me know. I'm still trying to figure it out. It's hard.
lots of forgiveness and therapy
That big thing you call trust has just been broken, and sometimes people can forgive some can't you need to ask yourself if you can really ever trust him to be faithful to you. You can forgive but never forget, believe me this will stay on your conscious and stay with you for a long time. Do whats best for you.
u don't no trust no marriage
I have considered a marriage councellor when i found out my husband cheated on me after 20 yrs of marriage. I have found out that after ';therapy'; things dont always get better and it may open up things that u werent ready for. Look inside urself and see what u really want to do. Is it something that is worth working on or has the love gone and maybe its time to turn over a new leaf? Unfortunately there is no book to follow on this one and u will have to find the right doors to open. Im still searching, its been 8months and im still unsure. If u find something helpful out there please let me know. Good luck!!
If you really want it to work, you are going to have to learn to trust him again. Don't bring up the incident only when you are mad. Don't watch him like a hawk and accuse him or you will drive him farther away. It's easier said than done, but without trust, there is no relationship.
While this has never happened to me, I have had two close friends to whom it has happened. One couple decided not to work it out, but here is what I learned from the second couple.





They were married 8 years and had four great kids. Who knows what happened, but the affair began in church (no not w/the priest). Anyway, the husband, to his wife's surprise, was completely forgiving, nearly immediately. I'm not saying it was easy- far from it. All he said was, ';I meant when I sad for better or for worse. For now, this is worse, but things will get better.'; They did leave the church and go to another church, only after their pastor actually recommended a divorce, but when they came back, the husband went and hugged the man who had been with his wife- his way of saying he forgave him too. After the couple decided to work it out, almost immediately afterwards they found out they were pregnant with their fifth child. Their marriage is not perfect, but I'd say that's commitment- the whole reason for getting married. To have someone there who truly loves you, no matter what crap you put them through. That's tough. That's love.





Something else I've learned from them (they say this now and then) when others have asked them why they argue so much; they're Christians, but they seem to argue more than others. They simply said, ';We argue because we love each other.'; That means they don't go to bed angry, they work out their problems as soon as possible.





I hope this is helpful to you. Oh, and I'm not saying you have to be Christian to have a good marriage. In fact, this example should prove that no marriage is ';safe-'; everyone is capable of making huge mistakes. The question is, who will decide to forgive them?
after that thers no happy marrige.unless your wellin to fake it.
You must go and have an affair to get him back. Namely with someone he despises. Or with someone from a race he hates. There is no hope. Once a cheater always a cheater. It;s just like playing with yourself. Those who claim they don't are lying. You are not mature enough yet nor is he.
what is an affair like he went to a fair without you??

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