Do you know how to argue with your spouse constructively?

Do you get things settled?


Do you hold a grudge?


or does life just go on.Do you know how to argue with your spouse constructively?
Most of the times, I get things settled. Over the years, I've learned very well how to ';pick my battles';. I never hold a grudge but after the argument, I need to be left alone by him for a couple of hours. Life must go on, and I sure want to be in it.Do you know how to argue with your spouse constructively?
If arguments were constructive no one would be angry. Things are usually settled but are rarely lived down. The only way I have found to keep her from doing things I don't care for is by turning them into a joke. For instance if she has an annoying habit just give a laugh about it and try to do it the exact way she does. You have to play the part well and never act like it annoys you or it will start a fight. It goes back to the old line, ';you look cute when you are mad';. Even if they are ready to kill you they will look at you and smile because you complimented them for something. It's called killing with kindness. Honestly though if you truly love the person and can accept anything that they do then arguing a little never hurts as long as you aren't hateful or mean. Just remember to tell about the good with the bad. Compliment the things your spouse does well while you point out the minor things that are wrong.
Yes , we argue like most couples do and yes , we do it in a constructive way.How could we hold a grudge?Noooo , that is simply not possible because it just doesn't last on us , that feeling of being irritated or angry at something.When it happens , and I see she is very angry or it's out of the normal ones(she's a bit temperamental) Then i tell her we should only talk after she has cooled it , cause there is no point in arguing , when she's like that and that there is always the civilized manner.Of course when I simply can't calm her down with that , a simple '''shhhhh''' , a smile and one kiss on her neck or her lips and then telling her it's gonna be OK and she has to calm down always works.Well our arguements always end up...in a very ..explosive manner but a very good one.So after we get calmed down we talk about it and always listen to one another.It rarely happenes , those moments we have argements.So yes , by talking about it and reaching a common point of view we manage to have constructive arguements.Life goes on by her side and no matter what will happen , no matter what wave, we are ready to take it on and fight it in order to make it.I could never be upset with her cause it's simply impossible .I can't do it not even if I wanted to .No matter what will happen we will make it cause we love each other.Compromising is the key and admitting when you are WRONG apologizing for it , changing and making up for that mistake no matter how small for the rest of yor life in front of her, explaingin when you're not wrong but she still thinks that, and even if there are times you feel it's very hard , not to let it break you down.It's not gonna be pretty and pink always but when it won't be then you always have to be there with the brush , and paint it in a bright color .
thanks a lot for the question. i really dont know how to argue with my spouse constructively. i am outspoken. my husband is very understanding. so my marriage survives.





i am tactless. i say things bluntly. i can keep quiet. but cant be diplomatic. it always affects my marriage.(we have been married 15 years)





so i am looking forward to reading others answers
We settle it.. I call him.. . Hey you blinking meathead what the hell is this? Then after I call a couple of times and he appears... and says.. what do you want fatty? and he gives me a big kiss.. and then we can talk from one person to another with respect and discuss it and I am not for holding grudges and he is not for holding grudges and my dad doesn't ever hold a grudge against my mom.. he can say something nasty.. she never retalliates... she only says.. you silly old man... and leaves the room and behind the closed door she pulls out her tongue.. that seems to help her.. 5 minutes later she is back in the room and my father smiles at her and says .. Hi my dear, this is a very interesting book I am reading .. . and he tells her all about it as if nothing had ever happend but I'm not surprised.. he probably really forgot.. after all the man is 81.. but he still is fit. He walks for 2 hours every morning in the forest.. and my mom is 71 she walks every day of the week.. the village were they live has no supermarket.. only 4 pubs LOL... she goes shopping with a little shopping cart.. to pull along.. she walks at least 3 miles a day..apart from Sundays.. and she is 71.


My stepgrandma gave her stepchildren the silent treatment. When my mom was very young.. 19 or so my stepgrandma said to my mom something along the lines.. why aren't you ready yet and my mom only replied '' well you take your time also I saw you gossiping with a woman from the village for 30 minutes'' from that moment onwards over something as trivial as that..my stepgrandma have my mom the silent treatment for 6 months.. that was too much for my mom, she moved out and got herself a flat...that was my stepgrandma's way to hold long silent grudges but if someone was sick.. then she would of course forget all about it and run to the other end of town to get my mom or her siblings what they needed or cooked them whatever they asked for...
To do this each person has to have knowledge of functional behavior, listen to the other persons opinion and each be willing to compromise. I suggest that each of you gain insight in this by reading books and making a committment to discuss issues and not argue!
Contrary to popular belief there are couples that never argue.





My spouse and i do not argue on any topic. We discuss our differences but we don't argue.
It will be of no use to argue or grudge but to understand your spouse or make your spouse understand and needs of both
No, I just give him the silent treatment. Of course life goes on, just not so pleasant as always.