Well, depending on your age and health the ';I long to be with him soon'; is a little concerning. If you feel that you're depressed and not getting over the grief normally then perhaps professional help is exactly what you need. (I'm not into them either..but if I had a serious issue, I'd give it a shot)
Many of us in this section are at an age where our parents are leaving us. It's something we'll all face of course. I know that I hope my surviving parent can grieve, sort things out and then blossom into the new life that they now find themselves in.
I've watched a mother in law become depressed and not live her life to the fullest after the death of my father in law. She has no interest in professional help at all and honestly, I don't think she sees what the rest of us do.
Another thing that you might do is deal with your loss on a spiritual level. Seek out other widows and help each other heal. Help others as much as you can. Imagine what you can accomplish by helping others before your time to be with him again. Imagine him smiling down on everything that you're doing. Women are natural caretakers. Once children are grown and gone and your spouse leaves, shouldn't that be the time that you give back to the world? You've experienced love and a soul mate. Many people have no idea what that's like. See the rest of your life as your gift to others. You have the ability to show someone who's never known love what it feels like. Imagine a sick baby at a hospital who's parents aren't around. What could you give that baby just by holding it? Imagine a shelter for battered women. Imagine the conversation that you have with a woman that proves to her that real love DOES exist and that she can hope again. Imagine the smile you could give a homeless man as you hand him a plate of food. It could be the only smile he's seen that entire day.
Our time here is a gift. You know that now better than any of us. Find a way to honor your soul mate by living each day to the fullest. In helping others, you might find your own peace. Good luck :)How to deal with the death of my spouse, ( without the shrinks )?
I'm so glad I could be of some help to you. Your thank you made me smile (and tear up just a little).I really hope that you can get out there and show the world what you've learned! We need people like you!
Hugggggggggg
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I am so sorry that you lost your soul mate. You have all my love and best wishes for both of your futures as well.
I take comfort in my religion, that reassures me I will be with my family forever in the life after, and I need not be separated from them for long.
If you are not religious, I would suggest finding consolation though the people that knew you both. Loved ones are the shoulders and support everyone needs, and I would highly suggest looking to them for your comfort. Also, don't be afraid to dwell on the past, look back on your memories with him fondly, and reminisce about the love you shared. But also look to your present and future, and make sure you enjoy what you have. Take up a hobby you never thought you could before, or go on a trip to see the world and new places. Never forget how beautiful life is, the small wonders we see in the smile of a baby, the sun on a meadow, or the miracle of relationships around us. Whenever I feel lonely or sad, I try to see the fantastic gift that this world and life is, and I also try to help others. When I'm not focused on myself, I am happier than any other time.
Again, you have all my love and support if you need it. Best wishes!
During the past year, have you read any self-help books? Grief and loss. These are very intense feelings that don't necessarily leave us. They will subside. If you are unwilling to see a therapist you have to know about the stages of grief, you may be depressed, clinical or situational. How many hours a day do you ruminate about your relationship? To love someone as deeply as you must have loved your soul mate also includes letting go. The feelings, time spent together, the intimacy you shared will always be with you. You can be greatful for the time that you were able to be together. None of us know how long we have with those we love. In a healthy relationship there are two people that were independent. During this relationship there was interdependence. All of us cannot meet our needs all of the time. We rely on eachother. If something happens to one in this relationship there will be feelings like you are expressing now. Having been independent prior to the relationship you know you can do it again.
Try not to place time limits on yourself. We all grieve in different ways.
What do you think the person that you lost would say to you? What would they want for you. The physical nature of the relationship is gone. The emotions of the love you shared wil always remain with you. They are yours, and yours alone. Take care of yourself emotionally. Now is not the time to make any big life changing plans. Love yourself enough to rise to the ocassion and ask for help from professionals.
Take a risk. You can talk to therapists. Find out for yourself if you believe you could have a theraputic relationship with them. If it doesn't feel right interview another. You will find someone that you feel a connection with. God's love
A therapist will help you work through your grief and there's nothing wrong with getting help. Keep in mind that just because you start therapy doesn't mean you have to stick with it if you don't like it or that you can't change therapists if you aren't comfortable. Its concerning that you state you long to soon join your soul-mate. That's a strong indicator of depression. Honestly, if I lost my soul-mate, I would be very depressed and would want someone to help me navigate my sadness. I hope you find solace soon.
I am sorry for your lost, All I can said is what you are feeling is normal and can be very pain full, but you have to start thinking about yourself you are still here and he is in a Spiritual word you need to let him rest pray for him , talk to him if you need it I believe they can still hear us and watch after us, and the last thing he wants is for you to be sad, think and believe you have another ANGEL watching over you, and the happier you are the more rest he will have, It may not be easy not feeling the pain, but leave it to GOD hands if GOD call him is because his time was there remember GOD NEEDS MORE ANGELS TO HELP HIM OVER THERE I am sure you will be with him some day but that's when your time is up ask the lord for healing and make your husband soul rest and be happy I am very sure he always be by your side in his Spirit , GOD BLESS YOU
I don't know how old you are. Someday you will join him, but for the time being. I don't think your husband would have wanted to see you in this much pain. Life goes on, and so do you. If you could try to keep yourself busy that might help.
I was practically raised by my grandmother up to the age of 12 and I loved her very dearly. When my grandmother past on my parents did not tell me because I was in a different country and they knew how devastating the news would be to me. They told me about her passing two years later. The day I found out I cried all day and I think I fell asleep around midnight from just the cons tent crying. This might sound kind of weird, but when I fell asleep I dreamed that my grandmother was holding me and I was still crying and telling her that my parents had told me that she was gone and how they had lied to me. My grandmother held me in my dream, which was so real to me because I could feel her presence and she said for as long as I am in your heart and in your mind I am still alive and with you but when you forget me thats when I am gone. So the moral of the story is that your spouse is still with you, he loves you, and he probably wishes he could tell you that you will be joining me someday but for the time being live your life and enjoy your life for both of us. God bless you, and God be with you. LIVE, LOVE and ENJOY. He is watching over you. Make him happy.
My dad died in 89 my mother still misses him to this date...She hasn't let this stop her from living, she may never get remarried she had the love of her life but she keeps busy. What you need to do is find a purpose, find your passion in life and go after it. In time this will get easier and i believe your husband would want you to live a happy life. Honor him by living a good life and keeping his memory a live.
I am truly sorry for your loss. Its hard when we lose someone we care very much for. I can understand how you feel that you long to be with him soon.
Although this is not the same, I thought that using a personal experience would help you a little. I found out, on Sept. 6 / 08 that my Father was murdered Sept. 2 / 08. We didnt always have the best relationship, but for the past few years, we both we working on making the effort to have a greater bond. It hasnt been easy for me and I am sure that the road is long, before I will ever get the answers I seek. I dont know much info because the Police are still doing their investigation.
For me, healing has been difficult. I have writen letters to him, burning them after I was done, feeling that he would be able to read the words on the Other Side. I have had conversations with him, in my head, more one sided then anything, but it helps to think that I am having a conversation with him. I have lit a candle beside a favourite picture of him, that I have. I let the candle burn for however long I feel the need to. I have also sought out support groups for victims of a homicide. It always helps to be able to talk about my feelings with others who have gone through what I am going through. I have made some tight friendships with some, in the short time that I have been attending.
I am not sure of what else that I can suggest for you to do. Talk to your children. They are the only part of him you have left. Make sure that they know how much their Father loved them. Talk about memories and stories that are funny... one day, when you are gone, they will know how to be with your grandchildren. Keep those memories alive.
I know how much you miss him. I am sure he is with you all the time.
Take care and God Bless!
It still sounds like you are grieving. There isn't anything wrong with that.
It has only been a year and there are no time limits on coming to terms with his passing.
With the way I love my husband, I'm sure it would take me a very long time too accept that he's gone.
Just give yourself some more time to grieve and eventually you Will have peace.
best wishes.
1. Church
2.Local free support groups
3. Church
4.Friends and family
5. Church
6. Joyce Meyer Ministries
7. Keep busy
I am sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. Your spouse would have wanted this.
Do things in his memory...plant a special tree or bush, donate to charities, write him letters, most important: ENJOY YOUR LIFE. This is what he would have wanted!
You need grief consoling.And more time.You just don't get over your spouse that easy.And remember it is OK to grieve.Just cry when you feel like crying but remember to smile when you feel like smiling.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Grief counsellors may be able to help - regardless of whether they have been through it or not. It's not really something you can come out and ask them, anyway.
I am very sorry for your loss. If you want someone who has experienced the same feelings then I suggest you join a support group. It will be people like yourself and can help you with your grief.
:)have faith in god and study islam ,have i told you that we as muslims depend on god in our sadness as our happines?
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