I ask because my brother's girlfriend was angry at him because he had a picture of his late wife. She died last year from cirrhosis of the liver. come on, isn't that a bit much? does that sound selfish to you?
what do you think?Would it upset you if your husband/wife kept a picture of their late spouse?
If anything, I would think it would reassure the girlfriend that your brother is serious about the '; 'til death do us part'; issue.Would it upset you if your husband/wife kept a picture of their late spouse?
Cirrhosis of the liver? She was an alcoholic? You would think he wouldn't want to be reminded of all the years he had to put up with her drinking.
As long as a man keeps a picture of his late wife hanging on the wall, he's not ready to start a relationship with someone new.
He needs to make up his mind. Does he want to stay in the past with his alcoholic wife or start a new life with someone else? Maybe it's time to put the picture away and replace it with a picture of himself and his girlfriend. I sure hope he isn't still wearing his wedding ring. If he is, then he needs to give himself more time to get over the loss of his wife, before he starts dating. No woman wants to compete with a ghost.
Let's face it, his wife just died last year and he's already dating? It doesn't sound to me like he's still mourning over the death of his wife. So what's up with keeping the picture of his wife out in the open for his girlfriend to have to look at every time she comes to his house?
I think that a large part of our personalities and character as adults have been shaped by our experiences. Your deceased sister-in-law has helped to create the man that is girlfriend now loves. If for nothing then for that reason only; the deceased wife and past relationship deserves respect. She was an integral part of his life and he should be allowed to memorialize her in any way he sees fit, just as long as he is not disrespecting the present girlfriend. If the girlfriend cannot understand then she is very selfish and immature. She should never have the priviledge of becomming his second wife. If your brother is in fact still moping over his late wife then it might be too soon to move on.
Not only would that be cruel to demand this of the bereaved, but it tells him you are insecure. Those who get left behind after a spouse, girlfriend, fiancee dies, have every right to hang on to photos, memories of the dead. That is part of their past, something that meant a lot to them. Asking them to let go of this just out of jealousy is lousy. Those who get jealous of the dead need to ask why they would let someone that is already gone, come between them. They cannot hurt you, unless you let them. Respect the dead and feelings of those whom get left behind. Walk in their shoes and you won't feel this way.
If it were an ex-wife, I would say yes. She has the right to be upset. However, that is not the case. It is a picture of his late wife. He has every right to keep her picture up. The death of a spouse is one of the hardest things to go through. It could take him years to fully get over her death, if ever. Has this girlfriend ever been married? If she has she would understand that bond. She should be there for him and help him work through that loss and not be on him about a picture of someone that he lost so recently. Yes, she is being petty and selfish and, if she isn't prepared to deal with that part of his life, she needs to go one with hers. It is often harder on the man when he looses his wife than when the wife looses the husband. In cases of elderly that loss is so hard that the other spouse does not make it very much longer after the spouse that passed. Everyone needs to be supportive, especially his girlfriend.
If she wants a relationship with this man, she better accept his deceased wife as a part of his past life and not make her an enemy in his eyes. If they had children, it is absolutely necessary that their mother is still a part of their life if not only in memory. Getting mad about it will only make things worse. If I were in her shoes, I would ask him about her and let him tell me about all those feelings he had with her and just let him pour his soul out to me. I would let him mourn and help him accept her death.
He will come to accept it and turn his love to her because of her sensitivity and understanding. It's a win, win situation for both of them. But it sounds like your brothers girlfriend just doesn't have the maturity and understanding to go that way. Too bad.
He married too soon and is not yet over the death of his wife. The new wife is an attempt to regain the normalcy that was lost when his wive died. The new wife knows or at least senses this and knows that she is in a competition with the dead wife. she is upset by the picture because she insinctively realizes that the man she married is still in love with another woman, his dead wife and she can never win that competition.
It's takes alot of time to get over that. My sister's husband got killed in a car wreck. 10 yrs ago. It took her a least, 5 yrs to be able to move on. She has put the picture's away, but she still has them. And a new husband. Her new husband was very understanding. And he love's her and wanted to keep her. Therefore, he allowed her to deal with it the best way she could. And helped her greive and get on with life. Girl friend needs to be more understanding or she may not be around for long.
that sounds very selfish of her...to get angry and jealous of someone who meant a lot to her husband and not have much compassion... its only been a year!? If she got with you brother after only a year of her passing she better understand that mourning takes its toll on a person and everybody deals w it differently and she better accept that otherwise she should pack up and let your brother find someone more understanding
It's childish of her to be mad over a deceased loved one's photo.Why is she jealous of a dead person?It's not like she can come back to life and take him away from her.Her jealousy issues are off the charts.My husband has pictures of his first two wives from many years ago and I don't care.That was then and this is now.He doesn't live in the past and neither do I.Maybe she's just mad cuz he's loved someone other than her.Unless he's very young,that's a given anyway.Good grief.
my wife is a widow. she has pictures of her late husband, the father of her (adult) children. she has a few memento boxes of ';stuff';. They were married for 20+ years and as far as I can tell they were a good couple.
He's NOT a taboo subject.
On the other hand there is a pre-husband ex-boyfriend who lives across the state and is divorced... she DID contact him just before our wedding... HE IS NOT TALKED ABOUT and if I found out there was ANY contact again his health would suffer.
a deceased spouse is not a threat, an old and very alive ex-lover IS.
It's a sensitive subject. The problem is Reality.
The reality is that the ';offended'; party knows that the ONLY (and I do mean ONLY) reason he is with her is because the LOVE OF HIS LIFE died! That picture is a constant reminder that the new woman is ';second best';, and that the first wife (even though she's dead) STILL has his heart.
--That's GOTTA hurt even after you rationalize it...
most people have a past
and some have pictures of the past
if my boyfriend asked me not to have a picture out of my dead husband.. i might tell him to take a hike
no one knows what it's like to loose a loved one unless they have gone through it themselves
everyone handles it differently
did she know when she started seeing him that his x passed away?
if so.. she needs to be a comfort to him.. or she will not be a gf for long
my brother's wife died two years ago and he still has her pictures up. They have a yound son and i think its important that her memory lives on in their home. He has a girlfriend and she seems to be ok with it. I say it's ok if there are children involved. but also, it takes time to truly mourn and put all that love aside. Maybe a year is not enough.
the girlfriend shouldn't be angry. she has a choice....stay and help him through it or go and be done with it.
No I think in a case like that, it is understandable or if there is kids in the picture especially. I mean No Giant wall moral but a nice sized pic that is placed in a not so out and about or in a cormer.. just a common place. I see nothing wrong with it......but
If it is the ex that dumped him I d say burn baby burn
i do not keep pictures of my ex husabnd by my own will, i have 3 kids with him and lived 12 years together. my cirrent husband doesn't keep a picture of his ex by his own will - he lived with her for many years and has 2 children with her. we re so over our exes we do not want any reminder of previous lives. it seems like your brother still has feelings to his deceased wife. this what bothers his new woman.
Time heals all wounds
If he gets a new wife..he has to remove the picture to respect the new wife
Put yourself in the girlfriends shoes
TIME is the key word
He has to move on
Memories are good, but he must move on
How would he handle this situation..Ask him !
I hope he answers honestly
Wear the other persons shoes
i would not like it,but i would try to understand she was an important part of his life.for one second why not swap the mind for a minute and have the picture of your dead boyfriend,what is your feeling? if he is very angry because you take it.
That is selfish, not of your brother, but of his girlfriend. Your late sister-in-law didn't do anything wrong, to provoke her nasty reaction. His girlfriend needs to think about the fact, your brother is a widower.
It is bad she doesnt understand his feelings. she should be more supportive to him emotionally since it is just 1 year since he lost his loving wife. Maybe he can think of dumping her, since she might be more controlling and hurt him at a later stage.
take care of ur bro and be supportive. Sure he needs someone to say ';yes, I understand what u feel';
I think she should understand that he's probably still heart broken over his wife dying %26amp; that is up as a memory to him. She is over reacting %26amp; If it were me, I wouldn't be mad. But it just depends on the situation.
It would not bother me. I dealt with a situation like this. I did not mind my bf keeping several pics of his late wife. He had a child and it was good for him to see those pics of his mother. She was decease, it did not bother me at all.
if it was an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, the girlfriend would be right. But it's not, he lost a wife to death, he still loves her, you don't just stop loving someone when they're dead. I'd be fine with it.
No I wouldnt take it down. Sounds like she is jealous and she shouldnt be, the person has passed away. Its just a loving reminder of someone very special to your heart, I would never take it down!
yea, it bothers me a little but i don't think about it to much. if you think a few pictures hurt try your husband having his entire wedding album because he said he paid for it
Only a moron with low self-esteem and even lower compassion would be jealous of a dead person. Surely your brother could find a normal girlfriend?
Well she is definatly a girl and he has lots of facts and good reason to dump him, but then again she may take the brass off the old door knob.
it is very selfish to ask someone to get rid of a picture of someone who passed and was special to them...she needs to grow up and realize his late wife was there before him
If the picture is of the late spouse, then I would allow it for the time until he/she is prepared to let go.
that girl needs to realize that your brothers late wife was a big part of his life. If she can't get over that fact then he needs to let her go. That girl is being disrespectful to your brother
My mother died when I was young and I keep a picture of her. My stepmother gets mad whenever she sees it.
I laugh and laugh.
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